Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Positive Attitudes Homeschooling Brings Out In Kids

As many of you know, from the end of August, through the beginning of December, my oldest two attended public school this year. I had heard from other moms that once a child hits so old, you become stupid. I had never experienced this before with my children. We were a team. One Bearenstein Bear episode had a little poem we like to recite when we do our chores or help out at our home.
It goes...

Father, Mother, Sister, Brother,
We Pitch In And Help Each Other.

And so is our life. My kids generally are each others best friends and they love me and honor my knowledge.

Then came public school. Each Monday it would start. Alyssa would go to school sweetly. Then she came home and I spent the next two hours fixing her from school. She came home with "my brother is gross, ick, leave me alone you annoyance" attitudes. Sure I  know kids do not like their little brothers a lot... but my kids were best friends. Tristan would wait eagerly for his sister to come home and the look on her face when he talked to her was like he was not worth her time. She would then tell me how her friends B___ would teach her these rhymes where Girls go to Mars to become Stars and Boys go to Jupiter to get more Stupider, etc etc. And another friend J---- would tell her, interrupting her talking to boys and pulling her away, that she did not have to talk to boys

Then came the attitude towards me. There were a few instances where the things I taught her were not the same way her teacher did it. And of course mine was wrong. Everything I said at home was returned with a "Well Mrs. S----- does not do it that way", or "Mrs. S---- says..."

I was breaking... where did my angel go who loved us, helped me out, played with her brothers, did things nice for everyone just because she loved us.... was this just an age?? I was not liking this teenager attitude on my 8 year old!

So then I had enough and it influenced my decision to pull them from school. I was so tired of being "stupid" and "wrong" already to my kid. I hated the "looks" and the she already did so much work at school that  after homework and dinner she could not pitch in on our chores around the house. All the home skills I was teaching were gone as we had no time and I felt bad if she had no down time in the evening at all.

The day she was brought home from school her attitude changed. We were her world again and my baby returned. No it is not sheltering. It is the way it should be. She is a good child even at school but I could not shelter her from the negative attitudes that she picked up. It happens when you are in company of others, even God warns us about it.

So now my kids are best friends again. I go into the bathroom and find notes like this on my shower wall....

It says "mom thank you for everything. you are the best mom. love Alyssa"

I have returned to the land of I am smart again and she does not question anything I say. I see my kids working together and caring about each other. Sure her brothers get on her nerves, all kids do. But they need each other and do not stay upset.

I love counting on my girl and the bond we are forming in life. We talk, we enjoy each other, we help each other. Life is hectic and not always free of bumps but we are doing so well again and I am so happy to have my "girl" back. I am counting my blessings. You do not know the impact of homeschooling on their family attitude until it is changed. So happy to have it back to normal again.


  1. So glad your family is 'back to normal' again!! What an amazing difference. My kids certainly have fought with each other a lot over the years, but it's well into their teens before they go through any of that "I'm way too cool to even HAVE parents" attitude. Acting like they think mom and dad don't know anything about the world and what it's like today because they are so OLD. LOL And even that has not been offensive and disrespectful to the extent that I've seen in other families. I hadn't really noticed before reading this, but you're right about the 'boys have cooties' or 'girls have cooties' attitude - that has not happened with my kids either! And they definitely get along with and respect all kinds of people, all ages. I know that's not entirely because we homeschool but I know that it is a big factor.

  2. Awww! What a sweet note!

    When S went to preschool for those 3 months, I saw such a change in him. Sometimes I wonder if the stress of school comes out when they come home and that accounts for some/all of the behavior changes. We're a safe zone for that anxiety to be released.

    I'm glad that everything is settling back into place again. I might borrow that saying! LOL

  3. Oh that is terrible that her experience in school was so negative. Bianca has always been going to school because homeschooling is just not for us and she's loved it from the start (when she turned 5). She has lots of friends (boys and girls) and the school has a strict policy where they do not tolerate nasty or bullying behaviour and positive behaviour is reinforced. We've certainly never had Bianca saying nasty things to us or her little sister and I'm so sorry that your experience was negative. School can be really exciting for kids.